i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
