I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
