I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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