Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
