i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
