I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize