so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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