I threw up into my coffee this morning.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
