Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize