Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
