Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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