After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
