Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
