What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Randomize
