we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
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