i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
