6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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