We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
