Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
