how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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