her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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