covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
