margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
