"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
