Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
