Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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