It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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