i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
