Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
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