That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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