I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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