she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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