You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
