I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
