I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i just google imaged poop.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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