A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
