She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
