i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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