I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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