So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
