if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
