I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
