just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
