Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
