I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
