Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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