I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
my poor anus
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
