i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
