I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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