I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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