You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
