Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize