we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Damn victory sex feels great
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