i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
