Screwed.edu
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize