no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
