I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
