Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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