Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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