Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
