Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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