dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
