Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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