hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
