I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
